A Day in the Life of a Lazy Sheep

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AndyTheLazySheep's personal blog, to which all are welcome unless otherwise stated!
Obsession of the day: Vlogging.

artrubzow:

Had a little discussion with polyleisle about blacked out shadows and etc.

I thought I might share my thoughts on it.

(via supernoncutie)

tranqualizer:

mayosjustanickname:

diasporicdecay:

pocketostars:

ancientrelic:

humansofnewyork:

“After this I go to work at a pizza shop. My wife and I were college professors in Bangladesh. I taught accounting. But one dollar in America becomes eighty dollars when we send it back home.”

People forget, when immigrants come to this country they start from scratch. They could have been lawyers in their home country, but in the US..it means nothing. You think a HS diploma from Bangladesh means anything in this country? My mom was a top student in the country, went to all the best school and got the best of everything…but when she got here it meant squat and she was cleaning other people’s homes and scrubbing their toilets. This is why I get pissed of when people talk smack about immigrants. They at least are doing something…..heading for a goal..making sacrifices…what are you doing with your life? 

^ My parents were college-educated teachers in their home country and came to the U.S. with nothing but empty pockets, a dash of hope, and a belief in God. They also scrubbed toilets in people’s homes to make enough to provide for their children, and that’s probably not something a lot of educated professionals would be able to do. I know I wouldn’t be able to do it. Pride would get in the way.

THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT.

Shoutout to my parents

and you know, shout out to our im/migrant parents who were not college educated before they came to the U.S and don’t share a narrative of going from “riches to rags.” shout out to my im/migrant parents who were laborers at home and are still laborers here.
i think it’s important to honor the complexities of our parents histories and uplift their triumphs but let’s remember to do so in a way that honors all of the ways im/migrants exist and all of the places we and our parents come from. we don’t have to prove that capitalism, white supremacy, classism, etc is awful because our parents were once revered college professors or doctors. we don’t have to believe in that assimilation. 

tranqualizer:

mayosjustanickname:

diasporicdecay:

pocketostars:

ancientrelic:

humansofnewyork:

“After this I go to work at a pizza shop. My wife and I were college professors in Bangladesh. I taught accounting. But one dollar in America becomes eighty dollars when we send it back home.”

People forget, when immigrants come to this country they start from scratch. They could have been lawyers in their home country, but in the US..it means nothing. You think a HS diploma from Bangladesh means anything in this country? My mom was a top student in the country, went to all the best school and got the best of everything…but when she got here it meant squat and she was cleaning other people’s homes and scrubbing their toilets. This is why I get pissed of when people talk smack about immigrants. They at least are doing something…..heading for a goal..making sacrifices…what are you doing with your life? 

^ My parents were college-educated teachers in their home country and came to the U.S. with nothing but empty pockets, a dash of hope, and a belief in God. They also scrubbed toilets in people’s homes to make enough to provide for their children, and that’s probably not something a lot of educated professionals would be able to do. I know I wouldn’t be able to do it. Pride would get in the way.

THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT.

Shoutout to my parents

and you know, shout out to our im/migrant parents who were not college educated before they came to the U.S and don’t share a narrative of going from “riches to rags.” shout out to my im/migrant parents who were laborers at home and are still laborers here.

i think it’s important to honor the complexities of our parents histories and uplift their triumphs but let’s remember to do so in a way that honors all of the ways im/migrants exist and all of the places we and our parents come from. we don’t have to prove that capitalism, white supremacy, classism, etc is awful because our parents were once revered college professors or doctors. we don’t have to believe in that assimilation. 

(via supernoncutie)

sliceofbri:

guys this super cute black girl came in my store with big, beautiful, natural hair and she was showing off her new red dress and i told her “you look so beautiful, just like annie!” and she and her mom didn’t know about the new movie coming out so i showed her the trailer and she said “mommy she looks just like me!” and her smile was so fucking huge

don’t tell me representation isn’t important

(via supernoncutie)

heart-of-komeiji:


Are they actually allowed to have pokemon battles in school? I mean, pokemon battles are obviously destructive so you’d think there’d be rules against doing it in a small classroom like that. This is a serious question.

heart-of-komeiji:

Are they actually allowed to have pokemon battles in school? I mean, pokemon battles are obviously destructive so you’d think there’d be rules against doing it in a small classroom like that. This is a serious question.

(Source: ihungers, via rarichris)

stephank:

If someone ever asks you what Tumblr is, just show them this picture.

stephank:

If someone ever asks you what Tumblr is, just show them this picture.

(via artattackmusic)

artattackmusic:

browningtons:

This is the single best photo I can think of

perfect

artattackmusic:

browningtons:

This is the single best photo I can think of

perfect

curvyybetch:

thatawkwardblondechick:

The tweet that saved the entire female population

Burn- BURN

curvyybetch:

thatawkwardblondechick:

The tweet that saved the entire female population

Burn- BURN

(via cthulu-kraken-octopus)

mymessylittleblog:

majesticaljeff:

rednecktex:

huffy-lemon:

Favorite story posts part 1

That last one

My dad says the ‘making love in a canoe’ about american beer

THE LAST ONE

(via asryakino)

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:


Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.



UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)


I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.


UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

(via asryakino)

jaybeep:

Sorry I can’t pay for this taxi ride I’m just a poor werewolf. 

jaybeep:

Sorry I can’t pay for this taxi ride I’m just a poor werewolf. 

(via romiren)

karpetsharks-art:

trufax

ifyouarereadingthis:

in your girls pussy like

image

(via heliolisk)

magapeach:

bidyke:

kimi-ni-sachi-are:

[Watch the entire video of tomska's Sex Talk here]

Male resistance to rape culture: UR DOIN IT RIGHT

 Tomska is a great person

(Source: psychoparalyze, via rarichris)

(Source: beben-eleben, via oozma-kappas)

the-great-and-powerful-satsuki:

Guys. Guys. Remember?